When God Speaks...

I have never seen a vision or heard audible voice before, but when God speaks, you know it's Him. Now that it has happened 2 distinct times, I know the first was not just a fluke. Some time in June 1995, a question popped into my mind when I was in the middle of my QT..."Who do you want me to take? Your father or your grandmother?". That left me quite stunned for a few minutes and then the question came again. So I answered in my heart..."Take Grandma cos she's saved but Dad doesn't believe yet".

Then on 11 October 1995, my mum called from KL. Immediately, I knew something had happened to my grandmother. She had a massive haemorrhagic brainstem stroke...in lay man's term...'severe brain bleed'...and lasted only 4 days. Although it was sad for all of us, we knew that God had chosen to call her home swiftly in direct answer to her own prayers...that she won't suffer but 'go' painlessly...and she did.

10 years later, around May 2005...I had the same nagging feeling and then 'it' happened again..."Remember your grandmother? What I asked you then?". It's quite impossible to put my feelings into words...but I recalled a flood of memories came rushing in and I prayed..."Oh God...not yet...I know he's a believer now...but not yet!". And he got an extension...for 1 year.

So when my dad suffered a stroke in August this year and was subsequently, diagnosed with Waldernstrom's Disease (a rare and incurable form of blood cancer) and B-cell Lymphoma, I knew his time on earth was up. Even then, it was extremely hard to let go. After struggling with God for 2 months...my prayer changed..."God, please heal Dad. If not, then have mercy on him, shorten his affiction and take him with You quickly. Please don't test him and us beyond what we can bear". God heard...provided the way out...and brought my father his eternal home after only 2 weeks on 13 October 2006. When God speaks...listen...

Dear Dad...(Finale)

9th August 2005

Dearest Dad,

It's been a long time since I wrote a long letter to you. I think I haven't written any since Melbourne days. Anyway, I guess I can express much better in writing, more than what most people may think. Here it goes...

Dad, I really love you as my father. Thank you for bringing me up, thank you for teaching me, thank you for being strong for the family and thank you for your generosity. My greatest joy as your daughter was seeing you come to believe in Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour. I have been praying for you for quite a while, probably more than 10 years? I guess mum would say that she prayed even longer, since the day you got married??? Ha ha...

There are many incidents I remember distinctly from my childhood, mostly pleasant ones so I thank you for that!

1. How you brought us to the movies and bought 'Orange Julius', sweets, snacks etc. for us. I must say it wasn't really the movie I enjoyed except for one? But rather, the fact we get to enjoy the 'forbidden' food behind mum's back!

2. Your explanation to Lu Sean of how the air-con 'works'. Joanna and I were in the car that day and frankly speaking, we were astounded! You told her that the air-con went jogging and perspired, therefore, there were droplets of water on the outside? Ha ha...it was then I realised you had a sense of humour too.

3. Your practicality sometimes, drives us mad, especially mum, but I've come to appreciate it more and more over the years. I recall the incident when you didn't think it was time to buy a new car yet (despite numerous protests from the family). The most poignant question you asked was "What's the purpose of a car? Is it not to get from point A to point B?" Wow! Who could argue with that?

4. When we were stranded on the fishing boat during the Pangkor Island trip. I didn't feel afraid because you were there and I knew no matter what happened you would protect us.

5. Your pursuit of knowledge and continuous learning inspires me to do the same. You commented once that I treated you as a 'walking dictionary'. I think that's quite a compliment and maybe that's how Justin views me too? Ha ha...nature and nurture, both are important.

6. You allowed me to go for numerous camps, Christian ones, Outward Bound etc., even though mum said "No". Those experiences have certainly enriched my life and taught me to be independent and strong in facing obstacles. But of course, with God in the equation, it becomes 'Mission Possible'!

7. Your encouragement and recognition of my 'artistic' abilities. I see the same gifting in both Justin and Jared. We will see where it leads them in the future.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not in your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

So dad, with that verse in mind, despite your vast knowledge, there are millions of things that you will never comprehend. But one thing I know, the safest and most secure place to be is where God wants you to be. I have full assurance that our heavenly Father will be with you through everything, and His Almighty hands will be protecting you all the way.

I pray that God's peace will be with you and that His surpassing love will be revealed to you during this crucial time, It's actually quite beyond words and defies logic. Something you have to experience for yourself. May Christ's angels encamp around you, and we'll see you around! I love you, dad...

With love,

Your daughter always