Oh So Un-Glam!

If there was ever a Candid-Camera moment.. this was most certainly one of them! So, there I was strolling along Orchard Road.. and as I reached Wheel Lock Place (back entrance), I looked at the Coffee Club sign, thinking.. 'Oh it's not Coffee Bean anymore?'.. THEN, the next thing I know, I was on my hands and knee at the bottom of the stairs.. with the wind knocked out of me!!! And from the corner of my eye.. I vaguely saw those coffee-drinkers sitting and staring.. shoppers pausing to look with hands suspended in mid-reach for that book on the shelf.. and 2 waiters rushing over to offer help.. 'Are you ok? You better sit down on the chair? Can you walk?'..

Grimacing from embarrassment more than pain.. I picked myself up from the floor.. gently rubbed my shins.. smiled ruefully at the uniformed gentlemen.. and gratefully assured them.. 'I'm ok.. I'm ok'. Now, if this were to happen in America, there would probably be a law suit already.. Case No. 101 Member Of Public Vs City Council For The Installation Of Slippery Stairs...

Old School Tales

I met up with old school friends for dinner today.. some of whom I haven't seen for more than 20 years! We had so much fun and laughter catching up and recounting stories of the good ole days @ BBGS when we were bushy-bright-eye- impressionable teenagers:

Puan N was a fearsome creature (especially when she widened her eyes while glaring at you) and infamous for her impromptu Geography pop-quizzes:

PN: Nenas tanam di tanah apa? (Pineapples are planted on what soil?)
Me: Er.. tanah gambut ('Peat' - a type of well-drained organic soil)
PN: Gambut? (Voice dripping with sarcasm)
Me: Tanah gambir? (Doubting my initial answer)
PN: Gambir???
Me: Errr.. tanah gambut
PN: Aku suruh kamu jawab soalan, bukan main TOTO! (I'm asking you to answer the question, not play TOTO!)
Me: .................
PN: Baik, last chance.. tanah gambut ke, gambir?
Me: Tanah.. gambir.. (Which is actually a type of plant)
(LONG PAUSE)
PN: Baik, tulis 50 kali! (Evil grin- Good! Write 50 lines)

Mrs. Ab, our beloved English teacher who taught us that only a single exclamation mark may be used at the end of a sentence and Orsen Wells' 'Beast of England' poem (from 'Animal Farm') may be sung to the tune of either La Cucaracha or My Darling Clementine:

MA: Alright girls.. I'm going to teach you some Thai.. please read this aloud
Us: Wata goo sa yam
MA: Good.. read it again.. say it faster this time
Us: Wata goo sa yam
MA: Faster..
Us: Wata goo sa yam
MA: Even faster..
Us: (Chanting loudly in unison).. What a goose I am!

Mrs. BW, an excellent Biology teacher who sometimes displays her 'sadistic side' tormenting poor insect-phobic students and Prouse House girls:

The frog we had just dissected suddenly twitched its legs! One of us rushed over to the lab cupboard.. grabbed some cotton wool.. soaked it in Formaldehyde.. and quickly placed it on the frog's mouth and nose..

BW: G-irls! Just what do you think you're doing?
Us: Ah.. the frog's leg moved
BW: So?
Us: So.. we are using more Formaldehyde to knock it out
BW: And where are you putting it?
Us: There, on the nose
BW: And how do frogs breathe? (Giving us the all-knowing 'you-girls-obviously-watched-too-much-TV' smile)
Us: (Sheepishly removing the cotton).. OHHhhh..

Us: Mrs. W, do only female frogs have eggs? (Wait.. that question didn't come out right.. we meant to ask if frogs were hermaphrodite amphibians.. but too late..)
BW: What do you think? (That smile again..)

Mind Your Language

When it came to learning the English Language, my sons took fairly different routes. Justin had a Chinese-speaking baby sitter for almost 4 years of his life and I recalled his earlier words were 'wo xia lai' (I come down).. he had been climbing on a chair or 'ant ant buck (bite) you'.. which had us worried briefly cos our immediate thoughts were.. 'OMG! Did he just use THE bad word?!'. Subsequently, he took to 'Singlish' like fish to water.. which included all the classic examples of.. 'wah lao eh'.. 'like that also can one meh?'.. 'this is my one'.. 'I do finish already'.. 'I boh lui liow' (I no money already).. much to my chagrin!!!

Jared, on the other hand, grew up with a Filipino helper and learnt the typical accent of.. counting 'one two three pour(4) pive (5)'.. 'pinish' (finish).. this particular word has the potentially go terribly wrong if you missed out the 'h' at the end.. 'Let's go barck' (back).. 'I cannot forget' (I forgot). I also distinctly recall her teaching him parts of the body and the time when I thought she was trying to flaunt my instructions:

FH: Jarrick (she couldn't pronounce his name then).. what's this?
Jared: Eyes
FH: Yes! What's this?
Jared: Nose
FH: Good boy! What's this?
Jared: Nick
FH: Very Good!
Mum & Dad: (Both turned around and yelled simultaneously).. 'IT'S NECK!!!!!'

Me: Please cook dinner tonight
FH: No, I cannot
Me: What do you mean you cannot?
FH: Yah, cannot
Me: I am asking you to cook dinner (almost blowing my top)
FH: I cannot..
Me: (Then it dawned on me.. what she meant to say was.. 'I HAVE NOT')

However, the turning point came when Jared was 4 years old. We had just moved to a new home and one evening, the elevator's emergency bell rang very loudly. We were most impressed with Jared's almost immediate and spontaneous reaction of 'call management.. call management!!!'.. which somewhat eclipsed his otherwise obvious panic-stricken and distressed state.. poor chap!

The conclusion of the matter is.. English can be a confusing language with weird rules. For example: 'Yeah right' can be both positive AND negative, depending on how you say it.. you can wind down the window to feel the wind on your face.. shouldn't get too wound up over the wound on your knee.. and if necessary, stand down from a fight.. So after 9 years, my helper's English has somewhat improved.. or maybe mine has somewhat deteriorated???

Sciatica...ow oW OW!

2 weeks ago.. I had a first-hand experience of sciatica. For the medically 'undoctrinated'.. Wikipedia defines it as: Sciatica (or sciatic neuritis) is a set of symptoms including pain that may be caused by general compression and/or irritation of one of five spinal nerve roots that give rise to each sciatic nerve or by compression or irritation of the left or right or both sciatic nerves. The pain is felt in the lower back, buttock, and/or various parts of the leg and foot. In addition to pain, which is sometimes severe, there may be numbness, muscular weakness, pins and needles or tingling and difficulty in moving or controlling the leg. Typically, the symptoms are only felt on one side of the body.

It was comparatively strenuous day.. having to work with several severely physically-disabled and hyperactive kids. I felt a tugging sensation when I stood up after squatting down to lock the clinic's glass door. As I made my way to the train station.. the dull pain escalated into a throbbing one.. and I had difficulties lifting my right leg. The usual 10 mins walk turned into what felt like an excruciatingly slow marathon.. as I had to literally drag my foot and limp.. since any hip flexion would cause a sharp shooting pain down my right leg!

Jimmy wanted to send me to A&E at the nearest hospital but I really can't imagine having to sit and wait there for a few hours? Thankfully, after taking some pain-killers, anti-inflammatory pills, rest and much prayers (Justin and Jared were rather worried).. I was 'almost' bouncing back to work!

I guess what made the whole thing worse.. were the unsympathetic and impatient stares from some of the commuters (and no one gave up their seat for me). This experience certainly made me emphatised more with those who have to face such challenges in their daily lives.. may they find the inner strength to overcome!